The "Amazing White Banana Republic Shirt"

The following was written in an email on May 25, 2005 to Jeff Reinmiller, Moriah Cagle, and Robert Browning after a dinner party at Sally's.  This is a tale of a drunken "Robbie B" (a.k.a. "RJB") falling into a garden of rose bushes after an attempt to reclaim a dropped cigarette.  That attempt to save his cigarette almost caused the death of an amazing white Banana Republic shirt:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, so last week we went to this dinner party where Robbie B had a fantastic time drinking wine and informing all how he is going to be the next GM of the Golden State Warriors!  Skip ahead to the drive home where Robbie B announced to me that he was going to "chain smoke when we get home".  Skip ahead to Robbie B grabbing the cigarettes and once again announcing his plan to "chain smoke" at which point he proceeds to do so.  I, on the other hand, unfortunately have not had enough to drink to feel the urge to chain smoke, so I pass on Rob's offer to join him.  Skip ahead to I don't know how much elapsed time (maybe 25 or 30 minutes - perhaps even an hour!!), to me standing in the kitchen reading mail, Rob walks in, I don't bother to look up, I'd say a good 5 minutes pass, Rob is still just standing there not saying a word.  I finally look up at him and there he is, blood dripping from his nose, cuts all over his face, hands and arms.  Blood all over his amazing white Banana Republic shirt, tears and rips and wine stains!!  I was like "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!?!?!?".  His response?  A sideways grin and a little shrug!  That, my friends, is what I love about Robbie B!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, I found rose bush leaves and blood stains all over our bed linens! Unbelievable!!!  I felt horrible that I had not attempted to clean his damned wounds, but then if I recall correctly, I was pretty mad at him for having caused so much ridiculosity (I know that's not a real word, but it's so awesome, I must use it!).

I loved that shirt so much that we took it to the little Russian tailors who have worked wonders on so many of our clothes (they re-wove a pair of RJB's suit pants and they always do an amazing job at hemming all of my pants and jeans).  The little Russian lady took one very serious look at the shirt, like it was an ugly scar that a beautiful model's career depended on its disappearance, and said very seriously, with a slight shake of her head, "I will fix it, you come back on Tuesday."  Hallelujah, the clouds parted and the sun shone through!  And when Tuesday rolled around, OMG, the shirt was UNBELIEVABLE!  The little Russian tailor had saved our favorite shirt!

Two weeks ago, while in Vegas, Robbie B wore that amazing white shirt.  That shirt will stand the test of time, it HAS stood the test of time!!!!  Thank God for Russian tailors and Banana Republic!